This Complete Breakfast
A law enforcement guide to breakfast cereal.
Precious Commodities
- Cookie Crisp – heist attempts are so common that many larger cities have a special Cookie Crime unit
- Lucky Charms – many reported attacks on leprechauns by youth gangs in search of these
Controlled Substances
- Frosted Flakes – performance enhancer, banned by the Olympic Committee
- Cocoa Pops – stimulant
- Corn Pops – addictive, users experience withdrawal pangs and rage
- Trix – sold over the counter in most states with proper child ID
What did I miss?
I would assume that Captain Crunch operates under maritime law. (Though who knows what sort of hijinks go on in international waters…)
Also, I’m pretty sure Froot Loops are a protected resource under endangered species acts, though the Bush administration may change that through regulatory action.
Argh. Comment spammers + b0rken LiveJournal RSS support = teh suck.