The Brunch Table

Here’s a great bit that I found on a random blog while I was googling for “fire in the taco bell” (I’m listening to the 2 Many DJs disc). The original page doesn’t have a direct link to the entry, so I’ll reprint it wholesale here:

I've figured out one of the reasons I am unimpressed and/or unmoved by the money-centric name-branding of mainstream rap: it's not the coveting of material items or large wads of cash that's the problem, it's the boring shit they boast about having. Am I supposed to be impressed by an Escalade or a Mercedes? Hell no — anyone with a six figure income can have one of those. I wanna hear about Jay-Z cruising through NYC in an AMX-3 or some crazy-ass Barris Kustomized hot rod. I wanna hear about N.O.R.E. buying something completely ridiculous and ostentatious that almost nobody else can have, like a racing-tuned AMA Ducati Superbike or a three-story-high television or his own 10-acre video arcade with animatronic singing pimps and a go-kart track. Ghostface had the right idea as far as jewelry's concerned — a forearm-length gauntlet with a humongous eagle attached is probably a good start, but a ten-times platinum MC should probably get a ruby the size of a martini olive embedded in his navel, too, and maybe look into having diamonds spelling out his name surgically implanted into his forehead. And hell, rich people have an excuse to wear all sorts of crazy crap so take the Busta Rhymes route and go completely ridiculous with gold silk samurai pants and kinkajou-fur vests and shoes made out of the leather upholstery from one of Steve McQueen's Porsches. I mean, hell — if you're gonna be all bling-bling, then at least be over-the-top about it.

-Nate